


December

by Jessa



Series: One-shots and Drabbles [23]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, finnlo - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Costume Swap, Drabble, FN-2187!Ben, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo!Finn, M/M, Mild Language, Sexual References, finnlo, kink themes, role-playing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21597724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessa/pseuds/Jessa
Summary: Finnlo hurt/comfort for Day 5 of the Star Wars Advent Calendar 2019 event on Twitter. AU Ben role-plays as canonverse FN-2187, and AU Finn role-plays as canonverse Kylo Ren (it’s a little bit crack).This gift is for anyone who feels stressed out by thoughts about family-focused holidays, or loves someone who does.
Relationships: Finn/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: One-shots and Drabbles [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1177691
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	December

It’s that time of year. December’s his absolute worst; it makes him anxious and angry and lonely and ill. It makes him not just want, but _need,_ to cry. But he can’t always cry when he needs to. And Ben couldn’t cry today.

That’s a lot to do with December but also with the fact that a while back Ben woke up in a professional job where people don’t show their feelings when they need to, and especially not in fucking meetings, during admonitions. They only emote in private, in private places. Like cubicles in bathrooms or empty cafes down the street. Or later at home in their bedroom.

“ _Take off that mask_ ,” he says to Finn, later at home in their bedroom. And then he watches Finn, in the Kylo Ren mask, lower his chin to his chest. 

Ben’s worn this mask too, although not for awhile. It’s a mass-produced copy they bought last Halloween from Savers with a smell that’s kind of weird, like bin juice. And because Ben’s worn this mask before he knows it’s not heavy. Not like the one from the films must be; the real one worn by the actor, that his character smashes up in a private place, after an admonition.

And so even though this is a copy mask, Ben knows that it’s still cumbersome to wear, so lowering your chin to your chest is harder to do than it sounds, but it’s still possible. And especially it’s possible for somebody like Finn because Finn is a really good role-player, the best role-player in Ben’s opinion. The _very_ best one. The only one he needs.

Ben appreciates that as he keeps on watching Finn, with his chin still lowered and waiting for Ben to say the next line. But Ben’s not saying anything else; he’s still appreciating and Finn knows that. So from beneath the black and the silver he steers the role-play back to the track, because he knows Ben needs this.

“And...?” Finn prompts.

“Huh?”

“The rest… _take off that mask_ … and then, Ben, you also say the rest, remember? But only if you still wanna do this. We don’t have to continue, not if you don’t want to. Like, if you've changed your m-”

“I still want to do this.”

From beneath his own mask, of white and red - a mass-produced copy of a FN-2187 helmet they bought that same day from Savers - Ben watches Kylo-Finn tilt his head to one side, pause for a moment and then say, “Okay... well then we better start over.”

“ _Take off that mask_ ,” Ben starts over. “ _You don’t need it_.”

“ _What do you think you’ll see if I do_?” But now it's Finn’s turn to stop. “Wait a minute, this... well, this is kind of-”

“Don’t you dare kink shame me, Finn-“

“I’m not!”

“You are!”

“I’m _not..._ baby, I’m just… _I’m_ not sure about this one... for _me_ , okay? And anyway, this scene isn't even between the two of them, Ben, it's between-"

“I _need_ to do a scene, Finn, some fucking kind of scene, okay?”

“Yeah,” Finn sighs. “I know...”

He steps towards Ben. They’ve been standing more than arm’s distance apart, even though the scene they at first agreed to do has the characters positioned much closer than this. Within reach of each other. And even though Finn can hear Ben - even though he always listens - Finn also knows Ben, too. And sometimes, when Ben says things, he doesn’t always say what he means. Sometimes, when Ben says things, he can’t really say the things he wants.

And Finn thinks that this is one of those times, so he takes another step in until he can reach Ben and then he slowly raises his hands to the white mask Ben’s wearing. He touches its iconic red swipes, tracing the paths the tinted plastic makes across the mask's veneer.

“This isn’t in the movie,” Finn says. “Him... _me_... touching you, like this... _my stormtrooper_... this isn’t in the movie at all… this is more like us just doing our own-”

“Improv,” Ben finishes.

From beneath their masks the two men stare at each other; the tall stormtrooper, arms by his sides, looking down at the shorter Kylo, reaching up with soft fingers still stroking.

“ _That lightsaber_ ," Finn murmurs. “ _It belongs to me_."

“ _Come and get it_ ," Ben whispers back. " _Traitor_.”

Finn shifts his hands and lifts the helmet from Ben's head with one hand. Then Finn lifts the black and silver mask up and over his own head with the other, revealing his own true face, too, before dropping both props to the floor of his and Ben's bedroom.

“ _You’re_ the traitor," Finn says.

“You’re not a monster, though.”

“ _Neither are you_.”

Finn’s hands reach up again for Ben but no longer do his fingers stroke an inorganic thing, just bare and very human skin. As Ben’s cheeks grow wetter the corners of his mouth start to rise, just before he's kissed. And with every touch now of Finn’s tongue on his own the troublesome feelings inside him lessen. They’re being shed, like a mask, and the rest of his clothes, and he's feeling better. A lot better. Even though it is still December and there are still a lot of days left to go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Thanks Semperfidani for running this event (especially for making it multi-ship!!!) and tehanufromearthsea for beta-ing and reassuring me the initial ramble I wrote a month ago wasn't so rubbish because i nearly didn't keep this but I'm glad now that I did and could clean it up and turn it into this for this event. xx


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